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The Fishbowl Phenomeon
I don’t know about you, but I never felt like I fit in. In early recovery I heard things like “I was on the outside of the fishbowl looking in” and I totally got it. I can still feel that way, but less so now that I’ve met and stay close to other addicts. Am…
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The Boiling Point
Why do we use? For me, there were stages of why. And then there’s staying sober and learning to live without checking out. It’s not easy, and I understand why it’s so hard for addicts to stay sober. In sobriety we reach a boiling point where we either drink or trudge on. We don’t have…
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Money and Addiction
Do people with money have it easier? Should they be able to just put down the drink (or drug)? Does having it all un-even the playing field when it comes to addiction and mental health? I vote no. And that seems like an unpopular opinion. And for the record, I was dead broke when I…
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Selfish and Self-Centered
So I’ve heard once or twice that I’m selfish and self-centered in the extreme. And this was a big shame trigger for me at the beginning. I already felt terrible about myself. Hearing this made me think about myself even more. But I’ve learned over the years that this doesn’t need to be interpreted as…
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Self-Forgiveness
This topic is huge for me. As I go along in sobriety and get older, the more work I realize I need to do in forgiving myself for the past and the mistakes I’ve made in sobriety. When I make a mistake, or I really mess something up, I am hit with an epic level…
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Live and Let Live
On of the greatest gifts of sobriety is the ability to let others be who they are. And not just from a ‘keeping my mouth shut’ perspective, but from an emotional perspective. That means I don’t get (as) worked up emotionally when someone isn’t acting or behaving the way I think they should. Prior to…
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A Spiritual Awakening
I hear that this is key to my recovery, but what is a spiritual awakening and why is it so important? For me, awakening means becoming aware of something. I’m waking up, or becoming conscious. What do I need to become aware of? At first it was that I was an alcoholic. But that was…
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Forgiveness
Oh boy is this a tricky topic. And sometimes I question whether I know how to forgive or not, but I have some experience with the subject. When I got sober, I was convinced that my parents and childhood were to blame for my alcoholism and subsequent circumstances. If they hadn’t screwed me up I…
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Acceptance
The dirty 10 letter word I used to dread. It’s supposedly the answer to my problems, but how and why? There are many definitions of acceptance, but my favorite is the “willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation”. And tolerate means to “allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not…
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The Stigma
It’s hard to believe that stigmas still exist, but they do. And what I’ve found is that those who perpetuate stigmas are those who do not suffer from what is stigmatized. In other words, those without addiction or mental illness are the ones that believe the stigmas. Why does the stigma exist? We live in…
Sober Tiffany 