From someone who’s been through it. 

There’s no one way to do sobriety. As long and you don’t drink or use you’re doing something right. I know it’s not easy. And I know it’s overwhelming and confusing at times. I put together things I wish someone would have told me along the way. I hope you find something that helps you!

Don’t fake positivity – Talk about how you really feel. I acted grateful for a long time in sobriety when I was dying on the inside. The key is to be honest no matter how badly you want to put on a happy face. 

It’s going to suck – At times! Yes, there are times in my sobriety that really sucked. I thought when I put down the drink everything would get better. It does and it will over time, but there will be difficult intervals. 

Keep going – If you feel like you can’t do it, can’t make it or feel pushed to your limit, all you have to do is hit the pillow sober. You can do it one minute or one hour at a time. 

Don’t rush but rush – The saying ‘give time time’ is totally true. But, there are things you can do now and every day to move the needle. Make a daily effort to recover and get well!

Get a team of help – And this includes medical help! There’s no shame in surrounding yourself with a lot of help. For me, I needed a therapist a psychiatrist, sober friends and sober support. It’s never a bad idea to get as much help as possible. 

Self care is so important – I didn’t know what self care was at the beginning. For me, it’s making sure I get enough sleep, nourish my body with food and water, take breaks as needed, meditate, participate in recovery, watch my fave Bravo shows, etc. If I’m not doing these things, my anxiety ratchets up to an unmanageable level and I go down the rabbit hole. 

Arm yourself with information – There is a wealth of information available today on addiction and mental health. The more you know, the more you’ll understand why you think and feel the way you do. And that knowledge eased my mind tremendously. 

Meditate – The nicest thing you can do for yourself is to start a meditation practice. Start with 3 – 5 minutes a day! Here’s a post all about it – Meditation .

Find a tribe – Or at least one person you can trust fully. And it will help greatly if that person is also an addict. Learn to be radically honest with this person about what you’re thinking and feeling. Get it all out there and do the same for them in return. It will change your life. 

Learn to feel your feelings – This is a game changer. I avoided or escaped feelings for so long that I was actually afraid of them. I spent more time avoiding or trying to change my feelings than just feeling them. Feelings want to be felt. And they are not that bad once you learn how to feel them! 

It’s not a linear journey – I can’t tell you how many times things got better and then appeared to get worse. And I don’t say this to bum you out. It’s not true, it just appears that way. You are always getting better and the longer you are sober, the deeper the journey gets. Life is about its ups and downs. The more I can accept that my feelings will change regularly, the easier life is! 

Learn to love yourself – You can’t hate your way to happiness. The root of all this is a major lack of self love. And when you love yourself, you won’t want to harm yourself! 

Laugh – Don’t take life so seriously. I learned to laugh at myself in sobriety. And I learned to laugh or at least find something humorous in almost every situation. Laughter is medicine!

Listen to those who have gone before you – No one is trying to control or ruin your life. They are simply sharing what didn’t work for them in the hopes it saves you some pain and suffering. We are all on the same team! 

Prioritize recovery – Nothing is or ever will be as important as staying sober! Get a sober routine and stick to it daily or weekly. Put your routine first and everything else will fall into place.