I am one of those that confused religion and spirituality. And once I learned the difference, I still thought there was a religious component to spirituality. 

Religion is a set of rules that a group is to follow or receive consequences. Similar to the law, it’s one sided and doesn’t leave much room for interpretation. Before I go on, I truly do not have a problem with religion or being a religious person. It helps so many people find peace and I’m all for that. It’s just not my path to peace and for this blog, I’m simply highlighting the differences between the two. 

To me, spiritual means ritual. It’s a set of things I do on a regular basis to keep my spirit at peace. What is my spirit? It’s the feeling part of me. It’s my essence. It’s my mood. It’s my vibe. That’s the best way I can describe it. And if it’s at peace, I’m at peace. 

My natural default as a human and an alcoholic (addict), is uneasy, agitated and uncomfortable. That’s where I start. My baseline. I’m just not at ease and comfortable naturally. So I need to do things on a regular basis to level up to peace. That’s my ritual. And it consists of many things these days, like meditation, prayer (or a convo with my higher power), attending recovery groups, exercise, sleep, eating well, time for fun activities, therapy, reading helpful books, etc. I don’t do them all perfectly every day, but I strive to make them a priority. And what’s a priority? It’s the things I do every day. Simple as that. 

Why do I need to be consistent? Because, just like going to the gym or eating right, I must do it consistently to achieve results. Going to the gym once a week does virtually nothing. So participating in my ritual every once in a while is not going to produce the results I want. 

Now the kicker, and sometimes bummer of this equation, is that I can do all these things and still feel like crap. I hear that all the time. I meditated this morning and I’m still angry. Here’s the thing – we cannot control how we feel. We can only 1) help our situation or 2) be better prepared for a situation. So yes, having a ritual will impact my life overall, but it will not keep out the humaneness of life. BUT, having a ritual means – and this is HUGE – that when I do feel crappy or life hands me lemons, I will be able to handle it without ending up on the evening news AND I will have a different perspective of it. 

As I’ve worked my ritual over the years, my perspective had changed drastically! I used to think bad things happened to me and that the world was by and large an icky place. Today, I’ve had a significant shift that things are not bad or good. They are comfortable or uncomfortable, and they are all moving me in the direction of my highest good and wellbeing. I also now know that feelings are ok, the good and the bad ones. They are just feelings and part of being a human. Because of these shifts, a direct result of working on my spirit, I can face life and feel my feelings today. And stuff is not as big a deal as it might have been had I now done all this work! So instead of being disappointed when I have a negative feeling or come across a situation, I am grateful that I have this foundation to deal with it. 

If you don’t have a ritual yet, put one together! Make a list of things that appeal to you and at minimum, do 3-5 a day and try to hit all of them weekly! For example, I might not do a fun activity every day, but I do pray, meditation and read or write daily.